The Weight We Don’t Talk About: Breaking the Stigma Around Stress and Seeking Help

 Welcome to Travel Time Stories with Shannon. I'm Shannon, your host from Texas, and as always, thank you for being here with me today. If you're new here, this is the podcast where I share real stories, the good, the messy, and everything in between. Some weeks it's about my travel adventures, the laughter, the lessons, and all the unexpected moments in between and other weeks like this one.

It's about life, about the roads we walk that aren't found on any map most weeks. I share a little of both because for me, travel and life are deeply connected. Both shape us. Both change us and both leave us with memories that last a lifetime. Today's episode is called The Weight. We don't talk about breaking the stigma around stress and seeking help because I think it's time we start talking about stress therapy and the pressure so many of us carry quietly.

So grab your favorite beverage and let's get into it. Stress. It's one of those words that we throw around casually. I'm so stressed, I've got too much going on. But the truth is, for some of us, it's not just a passing feeling, it's a way of life. It's something we've learned to live with. To hide, to normalize and to wear like armor.

I didn't realize that at the time, but for years I was functioning under a constant state of stress, holding everything together for everyone else, smiling when I wanted to scream, saying, I'm fine when I was anything but, and the world applauds that. Don't they? They call it strength. They call it resilience, but what it really was, survival.

We live in a culture where therapy still carries a quiet stigma, especially for people like me who were raised in homes where you just pray about it or tough it out, you didn't air your problems. You didn't talk about mental health and admitting you needed help, that felt like failure. But here's what I've learned.

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is not carry it alone. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is say, I need help. Therapy doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It is about providing you with the tools you need to work through life's issues and cope with everyday stressors in our society.

We need to get away from the stigma that therapy is bad. In fact, it should be bad if you are not in therapy because there is not one person who couldn't benefit from therapy. The truth is stress is a silent killer. Why is it called the silent killer? Stress often goes unnoticed or is downplayed until it causes significant damage.

It can also be difficult to diagnose and treat as its symptoms can overlap with other conditions. Stress is a real and dangerous threat to our health. It's important to be aware of its potential effects and take steps to manage it effectively. If you are experiencing chronic stress, talk to your doctor or mental health professional for help before it's too late.

So what exactly is stress? Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When you sense danger, whether it's real or imagined, your body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid automatic process that we know is fight or flight. It's your body's way of protecting you. But what happens when this response is triggered day in and day out?

Chronic stress can lead to numerous health problems, including mental health disorders like depression and anxiety, cardiovascular disease, sleep problems, digestive issues, and even difficulties in memory and concentration. It doesn't always show up as panic or tears. Sometimes it's just exhaustion or forgetfulness.

It's your body breaking down in small ways that you don't even notice until it's screaming for you to stop. In my case, this truly happened. I woke up one morning with a rash on my arms that slowly spread till it covered my whole body except for my face. It didn't occur to me at first that it was from stress.

I tried every cream, lotion and medication, but nothing worked. This is when I became convinced it was due to stress. It was embarrassing. I felt like a leper. I had to travel for work during this time, so I was wearing cardigans to cover it, hoping that people wouldn't notice. When I saw my primary care doctor, he was in shock, said it was the worst case he'd ever seen in his career.

He felt certain that my assumption that it was due to stress was on point, but he ran a battery of tests to rule out an autoimmune disorder. All of the tests came back negative for autoimmune disorders, but positive that my cortisol level was extremely high due to stress, which had prompted the rash.

Thankfully we cleared up the rash with steroids, but my doctor said you have to get your stress level under control because this is literally killing you slowly For me, it also showed up in sleepless nights and my chest feeling tight and snapping at people I love because I was running on fumes. And now because of all the stress I suffer with metabolic syndrome.

And what metabolic syndrome is, is it's a group of five conditions that your body is suffering with that make you high risk for heart disease, stroke and type two diabetes. Ease.

This is what chronic stress has done to my body, and it wasn't until I sat in a therapist office, hands shaking, heart racing, that I realized I've only been surviving. Not living. The first session was hard. I'm not gonna lie, folks, it was so hard. I didn't know what to say. I felt so awkward. I sat there trying to be polite, to not cry, to not look weak.

But the moment my therapist said, you've been carrying a lot for a long time, haven't you? Something in me broke open because yes, I had. I had been. And finally someone saw that.

I had been carrying the weight of my husband's illness, the financial burden of being the sole provider for our family, my job being alone because the only support system I have is thousands of miles away. My past current relationship issues and the list goes on and on. Of what I've been carrying, and I think so many of us do.

We all carry the weight of our families, our jobs, our past, all kinds of things. We even carry expectations of who we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to act, and what we're supposed to endure. All that weight, it adds up. But healing starts the moment we stop pretending we're fine. The moment we let ourselves be human.

The moment we admit we need help, we aren't supposed to carry the weight alone. We are meant to ask for help when we need it, and be there for one another. We were meant to offer encouragement, not tear each other down. So if you're listening to this and you've been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or burned out, please know you're not alone.

There's no shame in asking for help. No weakness in taking care of your mind the same way you'd care for your body. You are not being selfish by putting yourself first for once. You can't continue to care for others if you don't care for yourself. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself or for saying no because you can't take on anymore.

It is okay to say no even to a spouse. It is also okay to take a break and refresh your body, mind, and soul. Don't feel guilty for taking a trip to Rejuvenate. Therapy isn't about being broken. It's about learning how to breathe. Again, take a moment, put on your oxygen mask first so that you will be able to help others later.

It would be impossible to remove all stress from your life. However, there are ways to lighten your stress load and mitigate chronic stress in your life. Deep breathing exercises, meditation. Exercise in general for me. I started walking and so I do walking every single day, even on the days that I don't want to.

I make myself do it anyway and I do feel better afterwards. I walk for a minimum of 30 minutes every day. Just something that simple, really helps self-care time. Relax, unplug, get away. Take that time for yourself. It does make a difference. And then lastly, therapy. I currently utilize four of the five things that I just mentioned, and I have seen a difference already in how I feel.

And according to my doctor, I'm making progress to improve my metabolic syndrome. So it does help.   Thank you for joining me today on Travel Time Stories with Shannon. If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too. And remember whether you're on a journey across the world or one deep within yourself, both are equally powerful and both can change your life.

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Until next time, I'm Shannon and keep making memories for life.